The lighter side


Collective nouns you never knew existed:

A jam of tarts

An expectation of pregnant women

An impatience of wives

A titter of girls

A gambol of boys

An indolence of husbands

An insignificance of poodles

A conflagration of arsonists

An exaggeration of fishermen

A yearning of yesterdays

A ponder of philosophers

A flush of plumbers

A scoop of journalists

A slew of assassins

Of forked tongue translations and delicious English around the world:

In a restaurant’s window: Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up.

On a Swiss menu: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Nairobi restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

In a New Zealand restaurant: Open seven days a week, and weekends too!

On a menu in Vienna: Fried milk, children sandwiches, roast cattle and boiled sheep.

At a Korean restaurant in Auckland, New Zealand: We do not re-use the food.


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