The Lighter side

Love yourself by making a New Year’s resolution you can keep, such as not dieting all year long.

What’s the most effective New Year’s resolution kept by the most people? Breaking all resolutions.

If you’re single, try and eat better this year by only dating people that won’t take you to McDonalds.

When you’re young you celebrate New Year’s by staying up for it. When you’re middle aged you’re either forced to or slip away to go sleep. When you’re old you don’t give a sh*t because it really is just another day.

Sobering thought: Every New Year is the direct descendant of a long line of proven criminals. – Ogden Nash

Honest retorts for whiners and whingers in 2019:

  • I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  • I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
  • Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
  • When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
  • All things being equal, you lose.
  • My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

What to say to annoyingly optimistic people: Don’t worry, you’ll get over it.

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